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She validated how hard it has been to pick up all those pieces and try to put them back together.

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No matter how much we try; we will never be able to pick all those pieces up and restore them perfectly to what we had before. Sometimes I still wonder if I will ever truly feel whole again. If the broken pieces of me will ever fit back together well enough that I no longer feel the wind blowing through all of the cracks.

If my longing for perfection, will ever allow me to be satisfied with the reality of life after loss. Change has always been hard for me.

What is simplicity?

Growing up I wanted to marry, set down roots, and live in the same place close to my family for the rest of my life. But God forced me of my comfort zone time and time again as he led me to marry someone in the military, follow him around the country and set down roots in new places over and over again. Deep down, I know this is no different. God is still leading me out of my comfort zone, into the unknown, and directing me to put my eyes on Him and Him alone. I know that the piece that Ben filled will always be left empty, but this weekend I changed my perspective. I saw a cracked jug in a store… it had a beautiful plant growing out of the broken places.

If work dominated your every moment would life be worth living?

At first glance it may have seemed like trash, completely broken and wasted, something no one could use; but someone was able to make something beautiful grow out of the brokenness. I want that to be me. I want to trust God to create something new and beautiful in my broken places.

What about the broken places in your life? Do you ever feel they are beyond repair? I pray that you would be able to make something beautiful out of that brokenness in a way that only Jesus can. As a daily reminder that God can create beautiful things out of our brokenness if we let Him. Posted on July 2, by tricia. Have you ever been asked a question and after answering thought about all the things you should have said differently? I have. Last summer a sweet boy questioned me about my roots. He was curious where he had come from and whether he would grow up a certain way based on his heritage.

I remember answering that we each have a choice about the type of person we are going to grow up to be, and regardless of where we come from, we have the choice to be and do something different. The other day someone posed a question about relationships to me.

They asked if I know the divorce statistics for second marriages.

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You are not a statistic and neither am I. Regardless of what the world tells us the outcome will be, we have a choice in the outcome of our destiny. And we serve a God who can redeem any situation! If we refuse to give in to defeat, we will not be defeated. If you go into anything knowing that it may not turn out the way you are wanting, you are opening yourself up to the possibility of a different outcome than the one you desire.

Refuse to accept the possibility of defeat. Refuse to allow yourself to see it as an option. Some of the best marriages I have seen have been second marriages. Marriages between two people who due to death or divorce have learned that life and relationships are much harder than they originally believed.

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  • They have gone into a second marriage with eyes wide open and knowing all the odds against them. They have been successful because despite the odds, they refuse to see failure as an option. Friend, if you have lost someone you loved through death or divorce, you are not a statistic. You are the author of your own destiny. Embrace life and keep loving… know that God can and will redeem this if you will let Him lead and guide you!

    Posted on March 5, by tricia. Ask anyone who has experienced a life changing event, a death or a loss and they will likely tell you that there is a defining moment in time that divides their present life from the way that it used to be. The memories, the thoughts, even the feelings are split in half by that one event. Looking back for me that first moment was not losing Ben, but his original diagnosis. When I look back over the short 14 years we had together, my memories are split in time… those before cancer rocked our world and those after. Our innocence and bliss were gone, and while we regained that somewhat after each of his surgeries, I think deep down we never let go of the fear that our world would come crashing down when we least expected it.

    Many of our friends would have said that Ben let cancer control his life after he was diagnosed… he changed his diet, he changed his routine, and he broadened his reading material. He continued to live life to the fullest every single day. For me though, I lived in fear of the new knowledge.

    We avoided toxic cleaners, electronic devices, sugar, processed foods, and unhealthy habits. I was afraid of the mold in our house and would lay awake for hours stressing about every ache or pain that I faced or piece of candy that I ate. I refused to allow my fear of those things to define the rest of my life. I still keep most of those healthy habits, but I no longer worry all the time that we will get cancer if we eat a piece of candy… or stop for fast food.

    Finding The Joy In Every Moment

    We get to choose how much control we let those moments have. You can embrace the place that you are and allow God to meet you right there and help you through it, or you can choose to continue to let it leave you frozen in fear. Maybe for you the defining moment was a marriage, divorce, death, lost job or even when you gave your life to Christ.

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    No matter the circumstance, you find that you too can look back on your life and see the before and after. Friend, the after is in His hands. Trust Him and He will help you through! Posted on March 2, by tricia. Leave a Comment. Sometimes, I spend so much time focusing on my need to be transparent, that I forget to share how God is transforming me… how He has taken me from the person that I was a few years ago and turned me into someone who is seeking to be more like Him in everything that I do.

    Whitney Capps wrote a transformational book that I had the pleasure of being on the launch team for this winter. We are all working to show our realness in everything we say, do, and post.

    "Nothing Is Worth More Than This Day."

    We have to be transparent and show how that is transforming us. We have to show how important it is that we admit we are a mess, but that we are letting God work through us to become someone different. We have to make an effort to let Him do a work in us that only He can do. I am ready to be sanctified and let God work through me on the stuff that needs transforming. If you are too, I encourage you to pick up a copy of this book. It will be life-changing!

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    Posted on November 6, by tricia.